Pure Transparency

My latest and last assignment for my spiritual discipline module has been 'Consecration' or being pure in heart.

To be single minded, to have an undivided heart, to have God as our first and only love and reference point, allowing Him to search my heart.

In studying this I have found that the biggest division in my heart is between the desire to be more devoted to God and everything else in life!

And there is the problem, there are two separate lists, its compartmentalising God, there is God and then there is everything else. We cannot live an undivided life if we keep life and God divided. I no longer want to make time for God at some point in my day, I want my time with God every minute of every day.

Only when God becomes a part of my life, everyday life, the small things, the washing, the things that matter to no-one but me, only when he becomes a part of that can the division become a journey to single mindedness.

This revelation of looking to God first and allowing the importance of everything else come into proper focus, through His eyes, is seen in the turning point in Psalm 73. There is questioning, dissatisfaction, lamenting and then the Psalmist sees. In verse 17 “But as for me it is good to be near God” no matter what else was going on, the conclusion he comes to is that over and above everything, even while it’s all going on the thing that makes life good is to be near God.

Still, even when the desire to focus on God is strong it is not easy. As we spend time with God, as we allow Him to search our hearts, it becomes uncomfortable. Reading His word can become difficult and frustrating and I've found that when this happens it’s because God has his finger on something in my life that needs change and I'm not there yet. I get discouraged and fall into old habits because that ‘thing’ that 'focus' is still mine, only when I recognise His prompting and let go of things that I sometimes want to hold on to can His work on my heart continue.

If we truly want God to search our hearts then we need to be prepared that he is going to find things that will need dealing with or letting go of and it’s hard but it’s worth it, as we move a step closer to life in all its fullness. This work that God does in us leaves us vulnerable and that is not a natural state in our world. John Stott says “The pure in heart are the utterly sincere. Their whole life, public and private is transparent before God and men”.

This is not an easy state to be in; most people have different faces or persona's for different occasions and different people. We act and behave differently depending on the circumstances and surroundings and yet this purity would mean that no matter who we were with, no matter where we are, we would be the same person throughout and completely transparent, no hidden nature. That is really scary to me, that kind of change is one of dependency.  This is not about me acting transparent, it is about fully trusting God and being transparent, which means vulnerable and trusting that God will protect me.

When we think about how God views us we can see how this would work in the real world, no matter how uncomfortable. God does not see our appearance or actions, he sees our hearts (1 Samuel 16:7). If you can imagine that when God is looking at us, he sees the thought, the feeling, he sees us from the inside out, no matter where we are or who we are with. If I was truly single minded in my focus on God that thought would not concern me at all. 

Really picturing the fact that God sees me transparently no matter where I am makes me think 

about who I am in different situations. If God was actually with me, in person, would I act the same way, speak the same way, do the same things? And yet, He is there, in the every day, little things, and He does see.

Being pure in heart is when our actions and our words reflect God and that reflection comes straight from our heart, not from what we are trying or pretending to be, it becomes a natural state. 

When spending time with God, when immediately confessing and accepting forgiveness, when our mind and hearts are always set above and when any impure thought is not given space but is immediately captured; when all of this becomes as natural as breathing in and out, then we are truly pure in heart, then we will know the blessing and then we shall see God. 

We may come close, I may come close in this lifetime but purity as Christ possessed it is for the life to come, do not be discouraged we are not asked to be perfect we are asked to work towards it, to imitate Christ not be him. From this I take encouragement that I do not do all those things, they are not natural, they are not as easy as breathing, but I am aware of them and it’s what I work towards and every little change, is a change in my heart and a blessing in my life. "Blessed are the pure in heart, for the shall see God". I want that, I want to see God; I want to draw closer to him each day and know Him more.