Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

Ruth Tong
I run a self-esteem course for women called 'Shine' and one of the things we explore is the whole dynamic of comparisons. Comparing is a way of life in the West, even before we are born our Mums compare belly size and symptoms! Then stuff like… our first words, SATS, coordination, body shape, intelligence, social position, Spiritual maturity, wealth, skin, youth, humour and many more are all there in the background, feeding the lie that we've got to measure up.

What’s more the comparisons we make are processed below our level of consciousness so we really can be manipulated and not even notice. I feel so passionate about folks embracing who they are I wrote about it in my book "Love Drops from Heaven" (see drop 12 Cinderella Time)*. The bible tells us in Romans 13:9, we need to love ourselves, but what if we don’t like the deal we find ourselves with? What if our nose is too big or personality wrong in some way?

I have struggled and still do from time to time with negative thinking. I get so frustrated when I find I've done it again! On more than one occasion I have lamented, the problem is I can't escape myself. Have you ever wanted to scream "help I'm trapped in me!"

When we dislike who we are this is how it feels, but this is actually a lie. I would suggest self-loathing is rooted in a false perspective and we all know who the father of lies is. Think about the recent comparisons you have made. Magazine’s airbrush yet we buy the lie and compare with what is false. Popular funny people have their lonely desperate days too, great academic minds may long to think creatively and creative thinkers might just delight in holding a brilliant train of thought. A woman with a huge family might love to have had a career where another would have longed for motherhood.

We never really know what we’re making comparisons with and when we find ourselves doing this it’s good to be reminded only God has true perspective. He alone knows the outcome of each situation in our lives and what He wants us to become, over the course of time. It’s inspiring to see people who have had terrible sadness or suffering in their lives get to a place of rejoicing because through their awfulness they grew, they touched lives with the glory of God and made a way for others to swim in their slip stream.

Folks we all have areas we dislike, but when we accept our own particular ‘deal’ and work with God in embracing who He has made us to be, we can trust Him for the outcome. I saw a t-shirt once which had the words 'work in progress' on it. I love this because the truth is, when we acknowledge our imperfections and stop comparing we release others to embrace themselves, warts and all, too.

Let’s beware of the insidious nature of comparison and stop striving to be something or someone we're not; rest in the knowledge that who you are, is exactly who you’re meant to be.

Hugs Ruth x

*The first five people to contact me via will receive a free book!

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Linking up with Monday Musings and Salt & Light

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